^_^

So I saw Ricky yesterday -_-.
Ricky is technically the only guy I ever dated 7 years ago. But we kept a close friendship.
Since I bean talking to guys again he wants a chance and I have not given him one.

I honestly don’t know why I haven’t. I of course love Rick. He’s close with my family and vise versa he knows everything about me and vise versa.

I think what scares me away from him the most is that if I get with Rick, it’s like my entire life is set in stone -_-. Known him for 7 years. I’m well aware he wants to marry me, wants me the mother to his unborn kids. And it’s like if I get with him I already know everythings going to happen.
I’m just not ready for that.
I love him. But i want to have my fun. I want to still do me, party, have fun. I get with him an I’m already expecting the wedding bells…

It scares me. I don’t want that right now… So I just can’t be his and give him what he wants cause its not yet what I want. Or what I’m ready for.